No more Brae Valley

Moving day is over, done, finished!  I only have left to go through the suitcases and laundry baskets of clothes and I am all done with the Brae Valley house.  This has been the most emotionally draining move EVER....   It has lasted for months as I have constantly been going through my house getting rid of things and organizing.  This has been the longest that I have lived in any house in the last 9 years. I decorated and tried to make it my own but now I am happy to say I am done.  I will no longer be living in the number one sold house in the neighborhood. No longer living in a house that only one couple has come out of still married.  I think they should have added that to the sellers disclosure.  No matter what though I am at peace with how things have turned out.  Thanks to Kyle for stepping up and watching all the boys so I was able to get everything moved into the storage unit fairly quickly with the help of so many others.  I am so blessed to have the support of so many here in San Antonio, I am excited to be staying here.  I am glad that my family lives so close that we can make impromptu visits so the boys can play with their cousins.  Last night my mom enjoyed playing Grandma and watching all 6 grand kids so that Robbie and I were able to go out with friends.  The boys were able to have a slumber party and Hyrum has been thrilled to get to target shoot with Noah's bb gun.  Thanks Mom!  Today we are being spoiled with a turkey dinner. 

And because what is a post without a few pictures, here are some:

 Kaden was tired out from waking up early excited to help with the moving truck that he crashed out on the drive up to Austin.  He curled up in a little ball and was too cute to not document.

All of my belongings packed to the ceiling waiting to find a new home in July.  If anyone local knows of a good place in the medical center area please let me know!

It is my responsibility to be as happy as I can here TODAY!

Smile

You know there are times in my life where I wonder what I am supposed to be learning, and then I realize that yes in fact life is about learning new things, but it is also about having fun. Right now I am enjoying this having fun time.  When single parenting and dating, I have had to get pretty creative.  At first I thought it would throw a kink in the plans, but it has actually made me get more creative and figure out fun things to do once the boys go to bed.  There have been cooking lessons, rolling up the rug and dancing in the living room, star gazing out back using my phone to tell us what we are looking at.  Fun things that cost little to no money. And the beauty of knowing that my boys are tucked into their beds at a normal time and yet if they wake up needing me I am there to comfort them.  Here are some pictures in random order.

The mischievous TinTin and his gun. This gun was a wonderful investment for him. He hauls it or his "Target toy" everywhere he goes.

Sometimes the boys fall asleep in the car on the way home from taking Hyrum to scouts. I joke that they are on my side making it easy to get them to sleep that night and sometimes dates to start earlier.

Something that I am looking for in the next person that I get serious with is someone who enjoys cooking and helping my pretty basic palate enjoy new foods.  I like flavors of foods, but textures get to me. I know that this is a choice that technically I make to try or not try new foods, but it is fun to have someone who knows their way around the kitchen and who wants to be in there and doesn't expect for food to just be ready every night.  This was dinner last night. It is stuffed chicken breasts.  Note there is green baby spinach inside, red peppers, Gorgonzola cheese, and pecans.  I am not known to eat green foods.  But this chicken was delicious!  And we made extras so I was able to eat it for dinner tonight as well and savor the flavor.  I could definitely get used to this!! I also had squash and couscous.   Who needs restaurants when something this tasty can be made in my own house!!

This is my friend Matt Pruitt from way back in the day.  He went with me to the wedding in Vegas. He was the perfect date because he knew his way around and we had a fun time laughing and joking and I knew that I needn't worry about things going South.

I went out on Friday night when I was in Vegas to an art gallery dinner and then to a party.  My cousin curled my hair and I really liked it. I have yet to be able to reproduce the look on my own, but I am trying to learn.

At the Mandalay Bay after Devin's wedding. Heidi, Matt, and me.  The shoes were super cute but not very practical for walking a few miles in. By the end of the night I carried them as the blisters were not worth the look.

Dinner was at Smith & Wollensky.  By the end of the night I was in a food coma.

This deliciousness is oatmeal fudge bars.  Yet another thing I have made at my house.  Cooking is fun when you do it with a friend!

Heidi & I on our way to the wedding.  I love my sister!  She has been through a lot in her life and yet she is still an amazing example to me of courage and determination in living ones life righteously.  Sometimes I joke with her too much about the wrong subjects but when it comes down to it I am glad she is my sister and that we get to see each other as much as we do.  If she is not working and can find a good deal on tickets or is close enough to drive she is always up for an adventure.  She is awesome!  I love that I can talk to her any time of the day or the night.

This is Brian Bingham.  He is the one who has prepared these tasty meals and been hanging out with me at my house. He has helped me slowly crawl out of my shell that provides protection against all of my many trust issues. He is fun to talk to and not so bad looking on the eyes either.  I am enjoying getting to know this very intelligent, successful man who knows how to joke around and have fun. I don't know how things will end up between us or if they will progress any further....but I am so grateful for the time that I have had to learn that life is good and that it is ok to love myself the way that I am.  There is no rush for anything.  My strengths are my strengths and they make me who I am.  I am glad that I am not a jaded as a result of my divorce.

If you know of any good guys in the Austin, Houston, San Antonio areas that would be good for me to date, let me know. Once school starts this fall, I am going to be very busy.

Oh yes, I am no longer moving far away. I am going to stay here in San Antonio. I have mixed feelings on this but things are working out for me to stay here so in July I will find my own place to live and get settled again in time for school to start. I hope I don't regret this decision in a few months are my boys are exposed to lots of things which I do not agree with when they are with their Father, but at least I still have the option to move if I feel the need.  I am going to trust in the thoughts and impressions I receive in my prayers and keep living my life the best way that I know to and pray that the Lord makes up the difference in my boys lives. I am trying my hardest and know that that is the best that I can do.  I can honestly look back to 10 years ago and know that I would have made the same choices given the chance even with all I know now.  To say I wouldn't would mean that my boys would not be my boys and I would not have the testimony that I have.  I am so thankful that I am where I am not though and single able to make a new life for myself and my kids.  I love to laugh and smile and take care of myself and my boys.  There are days that I struggle when I think of the huge task that it really is, but I just have to break it down to smaller components and then I am not overwhelmed and trust that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to.

I don't have to be anything, I just have to be me.

I am back from a fun weekend in Las Vegas. The wedding was wonderful and it was great seeing my sisters, cousins, and friends. It was nice coming home to a smiling happy to see me face too.  I really think I need a vacation to recover from my vacation though. And instead I am starting to pack up the rest of the belongings in my house and enjoy dating again.  Yes, I think it is safe to say, my life is going really well right now.  Maybe an update with pictures will come next week once life calms down again.

memories

I was reading online about how to make places with bad memories not a place that you still hurt in and hide from.  I am actually starting to enjoy my house again. For awhile I felt like I was trapped in a safe place with horrible memories. That was sad to me because this house has lots of wonderful memories made in it as well, I just was not able to bring those to the front of my mind.  I am actually to a point where I am enjoying my house these last few weeks that I am living in it and making some crazy surprising decisions even to me.  Well, the decisions are not crazy but I just see my life taking a few twists and turns which I never even a few weeks would have imagined it taking.  I am enjoying the time spent with the people that help me create these new memories.  It is amazing to me how little bits of information and inspiration make decisions where I was struggling to finalize plans fall in to place.  I believe that I now have a plan and just need to get it moving.  It is so not what I had in mind a few weeks ago.

I am off to Las Vegas tomorrow for a wedding. I get to hang out with my sister Heidi and enjoy our good talks.  Last time I saw her we were both in odd points in our lives with feelings and emotions thanks to recent events. I am thankful to get to enjoy this upcoming weekend and also spend time with my cousins whom I haven't seen in a few years.  It has only been two months since my birthday and I am on my 7th trip.  I think I am well on my way to meeting my 30 trips while I am 30 goal.  Hooray!

And because I am excited for it, here is my new bed. It is not made up fancy right now, but still I feel like a grown up having a headboard now. I found a guy to build it for me off of craigslist. It's solid wood and super sturdy.

Friends

I have amazingly wonderful friends. They mean the world to me. Both guys and girls.  I am thankful for their thoughts and words even when I don't always want to hear what they have to say.  I am thankful for fiends who stay late talking to me about normal life things. I love being able to learn more things and for normal every day vocabulary to be more than that of my kids.  They are learning, but there is a long ways to go until they are adults and can have conversations about more than things little boys like to talk and giggle about. I don't see what is so funny about talking about butts and farts, I guess that's because I am a girl.

I got to go to my first hockey game this weekend. I learned that buying tickets from a scalper can get one amazing seats for a fraction of the original cost. We watched the rampage win in overtime right up in front of us.  It was exciting.

I also was able to add another trip to my counter for the year and will add on another trip this next week.  The boys were able to experience the Poteet Strawberry Festival which doesn't have many strawberries at it surprisingly enough. It is more of a carnival with a rodeo.  And when did carnival rides get so expensive?  

BE YOURSELF.  EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN.

Boys updates

 Hyrum went to the RiverWalk and Tower of the Americas for his school field trip this week. He loved that it was finally time for 2nd grade to get to miss school and do something cooler than Kaden's amusement park field trip.  He is playing soccer and really into scouts these days.  Hyrum is getting so big and really enjoying the fact that school is almost over. He is doing a count down until summer.

 Kaden is into the funny stage where he does and says things that crack me up.  Last night we were playing outside, Kaden said, "Hey Mom take my picture. That's what girl's do in the picture at the car place." Note to self, my kids are more observant than I thought!  He is in a wanting his picture taken all the time stage and my little helper and shadow.  Last weekend the boys spend time with their Dad, yet when Kaden was asked at school what he did, he told his teacher I helped my mom pack up her house and he drew a picture about it "because that's what nice boys do!"

Quinten is really into building with tools- my real ones escape from my tool box on a daily basis.  He fixes everything I never knew was broken.  He is talking up a storm and it is funny to hear him repeat certain phrases that the rest of us have said. It is surprising to hear out of a 2 year old's mouth.  He is also growing and sleeping in in the mornings.  He would rather be playing outside in the back yard or riding his new scooter that the package man brought him a few weeks ago.  Quinten has also taken a fascination with potty training himself though I am trying to hold off because a road trip with a newly potty trained boy does not sound like fun to me.

parable of the bikes

What is the old saying if you fall off a bike get right back up and try again...

The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you!

I started off my life with training wheels.  I had to get comfortable peddling and steering and under the watchful eye of my parents.  Then my dad made the training wheels so my bike would lean and I had to catch my balance.  I remember learning to ride my bike as the camels walked down the street in Dubai.

I upgraded to a pink banana seat bike that matched my sisters that my parents found at a garage sale.  I grew up and learned a lot about myself and what I wanted - at that time I thought I knew it all and exactly what I wanted and what was confirmed to me as what was right.  I followed through with that.  I rode that little pink bike to my hearts content all over the neighborhood and to the pool up until it was stolen and I had to walk home one day.

I got the constantly moving lifestyle that I was ok with at the time (27 moves in 9 years to be exact) life.  I knew nothing different and was ok with my life because I was happy with with my own self and the life I was living.  I didn't know I could have it any different and if I was living my life the way I thought to live it I probably would still be on that bike.

But I fell off that constantly moving bike and for a few months was scared about ever riding a bike again though I lead everyone to believe I was strong.  I was in fact riding on the back of a tandem bike being pulled along by the Lord, family and friends.  I am glad that the front rider had the strength to pull me along until I was able to pull my own weight.

Now I am successfully riding by myself again and enjoying this new pace that I have.  Thanks to the help of those around me I have already put myself out there to get back in the seat so to speak.  At first I felt very odd and out of place but as I have come to remember who I am and what I like to do it's been fun.  I love hearing myself laugh again.  It is fun to remember the little things about me that I gave up while riding that motorcycle.  Here's to many more fun activities and dates ahead!

Summer Vacation

I am loving that there are less than 2 months left of school and I can plan our summer vacation. My kids are going to see up and down the east coast. 

I have added in the Statue of Liberty.  Too bad the inside is closed for remodeling but at least they will get this view.

I found this cool picture online and it got me excited.  I remember when I was a little girl the boat ride over and how huge it seemed to me.  I am excited to see my kids faces through all these fun events.

I am throwing around the idea of taking them to Niagara Falls & Palmyra New York as well.  I figure I will be so close what's a few more hours.

Anyone know anything else around there we should definitely see?  Because I will be doing all of this in June we will miss the Hill Cumorah pageant and the 4th of July fireworks but it should still be a fun, learning adventure for us.  

Is ground zero a place kids would enjoy seeing or wait until another trip when they are older?  And I am for sure going to take them to the Empire State building too!

Something doable with me and the boys. It is a good thing they are used to road trips with me by now.  I have learned the little tricks to help them get through the day in the car that doesn't involve tons of sugary treats.

I am sure that I will need the month break while they are done with their Dad to recover from it all and to get settled in my new place now I just have to not pack in too much and run out of time so we can see our friends as well as the sights!

I know that Quinten will not remember this trip in the years to come, but hopefully Kaden will remember parts of it and I know that Hyrum will remember it. The boy remembers going to Tijuana to visit Grandpa JD and mopping the winding staircase outside when he was 3 1/2.

Now to just make sure that we all wake up on time these next few weeks and make it to school so that we can go on this trip.  Oh yes and we have to make it through packing and a move first as well.  I need to remember to not jump so far ahead of myself and plan for these other things too.  Priorities Paige, priorities!

Because we will be gone over Kaden's birthday, he is not going to get the birthday party he wants at the new HEB plus behind my house, so hopefully I can just take him in enough once it opens the end of the month he will be ok with it.  He has talked and planned with Hyrum & Quinten his birthday party there since they started building it last summer.  Or else I can plan it for a few weeks early, nothing wrong with a  4 years old's birthday party being 3 weeks early, right?  I have never known a kid who wanted their birthday party held at a grocery store, Kaden is good at being the first for everything.  Maybe I will go in over their grand opening and see if they would give him and a few friends a tour of the bakery or something like they do for field trips and we end up with cookies and cupcakes and the HEBuddy guy.  Anyone have any HEB connections?

Heaven Smiles Upon Me

"I can't change the past, but I can shape the future."  This talk was written for me this last weekend.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2012/04?lang=eng&vid=1540737900001&cid=9