Today played out much differently in court than I ever imagined it to. I am glad it ended up how it did though. After having an emotional last few days filled with reliving the last 9 1/2 years one more day of it I think now would have been a bit over the top. It ended up with the judge deciding the fate without any testimony. It started with my brother driving 2 1/2 hours because my friend had to stay and work. It ended up with a huge smile that has not left my face all day.
My family has been amazing through this entire trial (really a blessing) and I am so glad they are in my life. I have called each of them at all hours of the day and night and showed up or they have shown up to help me. I know I am loved and appreciated even though sometimes (more often than not) I am imperfect.
I decided weeks ago when people would ask how I was going to celebrate the end of my marriage that I wanted it to end where it began, in the Temple. Tonight I went again and I feel peace and comfort and love.
The next 8 weeks are going to be a whirlwind of craziness. I am going to Las Vegas for a wedding in a few weeks, and have to move out of this house by the end of April. I am going to stay with a friend for the month of May. And finally I am planning a fun trip to DisneyWorld with a long detour on the way home to visit lots of friends on the East coast. Why pay rent in a town you don't want to be in when you can just pay gas and camp out for a month in various cities?
I am so thankful for everyone prayers and fasting over these last difficult and learning months. I am so glad it is over too. I am able to say good riddance to people and get to choose which friendships I want to keep alive and which ones I will let end for a season.
There are a range of emotions running through me from pure joy, a friend told me it's like a kid on Christmas morning, so true! And then I can feel numb the next second and curious the next. I don't know what I am supposed to be learning from all of this, but I know that I am going to try to not waste another minute of this life I am blessed to live. I am no longer in a limbo state and can enjoy making plans for the boys and me. I don't know how it's all going to work out but things have worked out so far so I am going with it!
2 comments:
Your attitude is amazing! You are such a good example to me and to us all of how to deal with a difficult situation. I know that you will have a wonderful future and life with your cute little boys. Family is great and I am so glad that you have had them to lean on during this experience. You are a very strong person but continue to lean on your family and Heavenly Father and I KNOW that things will be wonderful for you! Love you Paige!
I am so glad for you that it is over! Thank you for sharing your strength and courage. I'm proud of you for leaning on the gospel and family and friends through this exprrience. May the future hold joy and peace and understanding. Love you, Paige!
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