November recap

Sometimes my kids help me realize how much healing has come in my life.  I love my boys so much.  I try to help them be better people.  The boys had the opportunity to spend time with Kyle Thanksgiving this year.  During this time they were able to attend Kyle & Gretchen's wedding.  They were able to spend time with Kyle's family who came into town for the event.  Tonight at 6 pm I finally got them back.  I was so excited.  They seem to have grown so much in the 11 days since I have last seen them.  They are just as energetic as I remember them.  I love these little guys so much.  TinTin was excited to show me his skinny jeans and asked me to take a picture of him bum as soon as he got home.

Aftern dinner, baths,and books Kaden asked if we could take a picture so he could remember this day forever because he loves me so much.

 And this crazy little guy had his bath, he went in my closet and pulled out some heels and started prancing around the upstairs giggling and saying "wiggle my hips, shake my hips."  It's a good thing he likes so many boyish things as well.  I am grateful for the smiles and laughter they all bring into my life.

Hyrum at bedtime tonight was sad and had a worried look on his face.  After getting the littles to sleep, I laid down next to him to read James & The Giant Peach with him and talk.  I asked him why he was sad and upset and that he should be excited and happy since he just had a fun week off of school.  Hyrum told me that he is sad that his dad and I are not married.  He is worried that I have no one to make me happy.  We got to talking more and I tried to help him to realize that his dad deserves to be happy and that I am happy.  I helped him realize that just because his dad is remarried doesn't mean that he has to stop loving me, that he in fact is lucky because he has more people who he gets to love and who love him.  It was sad to see his feelings of being torn in being excited for his dad and worrying about hurting me.  The thing that I kept trying to emphasize is that him being excited for his dad and Gretchen is a good thing, and it is ok if he comes home excited about their marriage, it doesn't hurt my feelings.  Hopefully this will be a turning point for Hyrum and he can finally accept the fact that Kyle & I will never be together ever again.  I am sad for my kids, especially Hyrum though that at the age of 8 he has to process all these feelings and emotions and he isn't able to just be an innocent child and that he has had to grow up so soon.  It was also a great learning time for me as a parent to help him try to grasp the concept that everyone deserves to be happy and that some people choose to be happy and that others think they have to find their happiness.

I am wrapping up my first semester of school.  I have managed to keep straight As so far, sometimes by the skin of my teeth, but I am pulling it off.  I have been having fun dating a few new people here and there and learning what I really want in a guy.  I have been working on making Christmas presents for my boys.  I have found a new school that will allow me to get the same degree but graduate much sooner because of the way they offer their classes.  I should be able to graduate Spring 2014 if I push myself hard or if I take a more lax schedule I will be done Summer 2014.  I am counting down these last 2 weeks of school and then finals before my month long break.  I am excited for a chance to spend more time with my kids and not stay up late studying.  I am excited to see where the next few months take me.  I am re-learning some hobbies that I enjoyed before and am also continuing my travels.  No big trips are in the works as of now, but the little trips are lots of fun!