Saturday, November 19, 2011

A Fresh Start

I have transferred everything from my old blog away saving it for later and am starting over just as my life is once again starting over.  I am opening up my blog to the public again and am going to allow whomever wants to to follow along.

Here is how my "new" life story is unfolding. November 3rd, 2011 after going back and forth in what he had told me for about 2 months, Kyle filed for divorce. He no longer wants to be married and wants to move on with his life. He has told me that he just isn't in love and has been unhappy for many years.  It's ok to be shocked, I was/am too.  However, I ask that you please not judge. Every person has faults and makes mistakes.  None of us are perfect. When we die, we will be judged by a loving Heavenly Father on how we react and respond to trials that come into our lives.  This is my current trial as well as blessing, because I have been able to realize what a strong person I truly am!  Something else interesting about this is when a life altering event happens such as someone filing for divorce, you find out who your true friends are. People come out of the cracks and say kind things and let you know they are there for you or else they send nasty texts and phone messages and emails.  By me sharing this I am in no way asking anyone to pick sides, I am just stating a fact that Kyle filed for divorce and the reasoning he gave me.

I am going to start documenting my life with Hyrum, Kaden, and Quinten apart from Kyle as we continue on our quest through life.  I know that the boys and I will be ok and that we need to focus on and surround ourselves by people and things that bring us joy.  If you are not that type of person, than for the moment we may choose to distance ourselves from you as we need to be reminded of our inner worth and purpose in life.  Or if you are a strong person, we may choose to distance ourselves from you because we are focusing on ourselves and trying to be the best people that we can be.  We can all do hard things and life isn't fair, but we are survivors and this is only but a stumbling block in our paths. I am very sad that Kyle has made this choice, but I cannot make him choose anything different. I am just responsible for myself.  I am the only one whom can make myself happy!!  As much as it is hard for me to wrap my head around all this "new" that is happening in my life I am grateful to be able to fall back on I KNOW without a doubt that the boys and I will be ok.  How that will end up I am not sure, but I know that in trusting in the Lord that we will get through this.  New goals and hopes and dreams are in the works and this detour has already opened up windows to the future and once this is all finalized I am praying that doors will open up too.  This is hard, life is tough, but there are tons of people much worse off than I am and at least we have our health!

Here are some recent pictures of the boys as of late.
 Hyrum getting ready for bike rodeo.
 Tin Tin loving Halloween and all the fun things that come with it.
 Hot! Fire!
 Qubes loves swinging. Once we take Kaden bye bye to school, he wants to play out back and swing. He will want to stop for a short snack but then wants to go back out to swinging instead of taking a nap.
 Kade Man and his pumpkin face.
 He loves playing football a lot. I think it's mostly for the tacking part though, but I could be wrong.
 Look Mom! Mud!
Hyrum loved scootering on the docks when we were to Vail this summer.

4 comments:

Leilani G said...

Paige, as usual I am amazed by your inner strength and Faith. I will be praying for you and the boys.

Myndie said...

Glad you said that it's okay to be shocked...because I am. Sending prayers. You are an amazing woman and mom.

Nashelle said...

Oh, Paige, you are so inspiring! I'm truly sorry that this trial is upon you and your family. I pray that those doors open up and things fall into place for you quickly! I admire your strength and I know that gift will be a wonderful blessing for you and your boys!

kerri said...

You are so truly kind to remind us not to judge... Love & prayers from my house of boys to yours.