So I did something I said I wasn't going to do, I gave myself a Christmas present that will last me for awhile.  I changed my last name back to Buchanan.  I know I know, I said I would keep it because it is the same as my boys, but I got to thinking about it, and with going to school and the career path I have chosen I do not always want to be remembered as a Sinclair.  I do not want to give credit for my degree to a name that to me is filled with crummy feelings.  I still have great memories too but the way things ended and the way I am still treated I want to honor my own family name.  So as of mid-December I am officially back to Buchanan.  Going to court and standing before the judge it felt empowering.  It was like another layer of sadness lifted.  Another step towards the new and better Paige!