Blind Date

I went on a blind date this last week.  It wasn't so bad, but it was interesting and I learned how truly blessed I am.  You see, it turns out this guy had been divorced 2-3 years ago.  He still looked to the past about what he had lost.  He kept asking me questions about my past and could not seem to figure out how I am happy.  I told him because it's a choice that I make every single day.  I see my own failed marriage in a totally different light.  I see all that I gained.  All that my boys gained.  All that I have to look forward to in life.  I have the opportunity to find someone who loves me for who I am. My boys now have extra people who love them.  Is it the ideal situation, no, far from it, but I am learning to embrace that which I cannot change and go with it.  Sometimes our plans are not the best plans it seems and we need to allow for flexibility in our lives.  Sometimes the new changes that come in to our lives are frustrating but we can conquer them and be better because of them.  Me, the over planned Paige, is learning that you can't plan everything.

I am grateful that I am young enough and smart enough to go back to school and that I have the opportunity to better myself.  Going to school while my boys are still young is definitely not my first choice, but I know that we will all be taken care of. Some way, some how bedtime will get easier and I will have time to study.  Everything else has started falling into place, I know I am not forgotten about.

  As I have a house in Idaho hoping to be completed short sale by the end of the month and one in San Antonio in foreclosure, I get to move into my new house TOMORROW.  I am blessed to soon have a place to call my own.  I am lucky enough to have the support of people at church who are willing to help me get moved in. After living out of a suitcase for the last 2 months and months of boxes before that wondering if I would due able to qualify for a place a all to having a small place to call my own I am euphoric.   Tomorrow night I get to sleep in my very own bed in my very own sheets.  I am so thankful to all those who have shared with my boys and I places to sleep these last 2 months, even though we have not had our own place, we have not been lacking a place to lay our head.

As much as at times I have struggled in my own mind, things are working out.  At times, friends have reminded me to not worry about that which is out of my control and I am thriving!  It comes as a little shock to me because the last week of October when I found Kyle's journal with his plan all written out, I thought my life was over....now I am seeing that it really has just begun.  I have already gone on 21 trips since my birthday in February and have more planned throughout the rest of the summer. I think it is safe to say that I will reach my goal well before I turn 31! 

Because of my lack of my own living arrangements I was able to have conversations with my boys that I might not have otherwise been able to have.  We have been able to make memories together and explore.  We focused on each other even more.  Hyrum was able to attend scout camp in 2 different states. Quinten too decided that he wanted to start potty training at Grandma B's house. That makes 3 boys trained at Grandma's house!  Good bye diapers!  Hopefully I get him back at the end of the month still in undies.  Kaden had 4 birthday parties in 4 different states.  I have been lucky enough to pick up 2 kayaks and take them out already.  

So blessed! So Mr. Blind Date man, take what life throws at you and run with it.  Sometimes what we envision as what is best for us and opens up doors to even bigger and better life experiences.  But, we do not always know best.  Live for today and for tomorrow but know that you are who you are because of the past.  It is ok to be happy no matter what ones relationship status is!  Laugh every day, laughter is vital in ones life. And finally embrace the sun and the outdoors, so much healing comes when we are surrounded by the beauty all around us.  Take pictures to be reminded by all that is wonderful around you. Pictures will help you remember when your mind gets cloudy at times.

And now because no post is complete without pictures, here are some of my favorites from the last month.  I am missing my boys so much already and I just dropped them off at Kyle's on Friday. Instead of moping that I don't have them, I am trying to pack my days full of fun activities and get other necessary things done for the fall.

Kaden ready to camp out in the tent with the big boys in Ohio.  He didn't last, but he was excited to try.

Hyrum & I on our date to see Brave!

Quinten at South Beach Miami.  "Mom, I'm a little sandy!"

Quinten at Disney World tall enough to ride the roller coasters and he loved every second of it!

Sleeping at Audrey & Colin's house.  I got the foot of the bed.

Hyrum said, "Mom, I want to move to Maryland or get a kayak."  We got a kayak!

Happy 4th Birthday Kade Man!

 Kaden sleeping with Daisy & Sammy. They remembered him.

 Quinten with his motorcycle.

Uncle Stu building sand castles with the boys. 

Hyrum perfecting his archery skills. He got 3 bulls-eyes while at scout camp in Houston, the most of any kid his age. To say he was excited is a bit of an understatement!