Normal

Normal.  What is that? It is different for every single person.  Let me tell you what is not normal, not seeing one's kids for an entire month.  Whoever invented these rules I think was/is stupid.  It is not right, I am already going crazy missing my kids.  I am so grateful to have had the last month with them to soak in each of their spirits and to take care of them.  To feel of their love for me and others.  To watch them learn and grow.  Sure there were times they drove me crazy, they are boys, they do that, but tonight I am sad.

 Sad that I will miss out on their lives for the next month. Sad that I don't get to make sure Kaden wears his glasses every day.  Sad that I don't get to watch Hyrum grow taller by the minute.  Sad that I don't get to continue to witness the word explosions that Quinten is having.

But then thanks to the help of my sisters and a few friends I realized that I need to not dwell on the sadness.  I am grateful for the peace that comes from priesthood blessings.  For the realization that Heavenly Father knows my children's needs.  There are some fights worth fighting and I need to continue to fight for happiness in myself and doing what's right.  In time things will get easier, but not living with one's kids when they are young will never be "normal" to me.  

I am thankful for friends who are night owls with me and who know when to listen and just be there to offer a hug.  Even when I struggle, I am blessed.