I have never had a problem with sacrificing and putting my kids before myself, it's just something that I do. Right now I am struggling though.... Hyrum has a few simple wishes for his baptism and not because the requests are physically difficult, but instead emotionally like ripping a band aid off an almost healed wound do I hesitate. Tonight though I said a quick prayer, sang one of my favorite primary songs, swallowed my own pride and followed through. I have reached out to a woman & her kids whom I have never met nor ever imagined would be a part of my life. The invitation to the baptism has been extended and it's not up to me whether or not they show up. I will smile because I am happy and I love my life. I will honor my sons wishes because he wants to be a missionary & because it is the right thing to do. I want to be a good example to my boys of making right choices even though they are not the choices we would choose if we were left to our own devices. I will pray for extra strength and peace when (if) I meet a family on Saturday whom I never would have imagined would be connected to me in a round about way. Life is real and though I the last few weeks am wondering again what is it I am supposed to be learning through all of this? I will press on because why look back at what was and instead be excited for what is to come!
Hyrum is smarter than an 2nd grader and a reminder to me of what life is about. I am proud to be his mother and to admit that on this topic my boys are teaching me how to act and to have peace with life.
And now I will go cry, because as much as I am ready to be through I am still human full of emotion and love for my son! Who wouldn't be after going to open house at school and getting a look at his family picture. Look at the sun big and huge in the sky and my cautioning him to get down out of the tree. He knows me well!
