Hope Floats

Last weekend while at a birthday party, my friend recommended I watch the movie Hope Floats.  Tonight I took the time to watch it.  If you are wondering what it is we are going through at my house right now, start watching right about an hour and 38 minutes.  Minus me having someone in the wings ready and waiting like Sandra Bullock does, this is pretty accurate.  The conversation sounds really familiar to those that have gone on at my house. Tonight Hyrum and I hit the point at an hour and 45 minutes.  I am excited for tomorrow because sometimes the truth will set you free.  I am sure we still will have our bumps along the way, but tonight it clicked for him and for that I am eternally grateful.  I am hoping tonight is the start of many more happy days ahead.  After the hellish last 3 months I am ready for it!

A different friend and I were talking tonight about perspective.  In a year from now, looking back this time is going to seem like it has flown by.  I am anxiously awaiting the time that I can move on in the right way.  In the interim I am enjoying all the time with just my boys I get.  It is amazing how when i watch and enjoy the little moments that the bigger memories are formed and our relationships are strengthened.  Sometimes it's being able to console a tearful sobbing child that helps them realize who will be there for them in the end without saying a word.  It is quietly remind those around of the rules in our home and what we are supposed to do and not.  Teaching the boys that treats do not have to mean electronics or desserts.  It is waking up early after an exhausting night of a 2 year old refusing to sleep unless he is sprawled out on top of you and then waking up early to walk the other 2 boys to school and hearing them make plans to be best friends for the rest of their lives.  It is Quinten starting to potty train himself.

It is helping Kaden plan family home evening and then him sitting at the kitchen table telling everyone our family rules and being reminded of them all the time when he says prayers all by himself.  "Dear Heavenly Father.  Please help us to not hit, and not kick, and to not throw our food.  Please help us to play nice with Hyrum and TinTin.  Please help Mommy to go to sleep tonight.  Please help us to use nice words and to stay in our beds at night.  Thank you for our house and our toys and to be good.  In name Jesus Christ Amen."

Single parenting is not easy, I have been very fortunate to have my older sister Heather here helping me out as I run here and there to counseling, attorney's offices, appointments and just need an extra hand.  I know that the time is soon coming that I will be all on my own and I know that I can do it.  We are surviving, we are being courageous, and we are moving on.  

Tonight as Hyrum and I were talking we were talking about what makes a person happy.  He realized that he makes himself happy that no one else or nothing else not even a lot of money makes us happy.  As we were talking about his choice to be baptized he said that he feels happier when he thinks of helping others but he still wishes that life was fair.  So do I little buddy, so do I.  But if we spent all our time wishing that life was as fair to us as it was for others than we would be missing the beauty that we do get to experience that others do not.  Life is as fair to us as we allow it to be!  It is all in one's perspective.