Today has been an emotional, adrenaline filled day. This morning around 2am my older sister Heather totaled her car near Sonora Texas. She was driving here to move in with me and help me with the boys.  Between all of our appointments I need someone steady for the next few weeks to help me make sure everyone gets where they need to when they need to.  So along with going to counseling and court this week we now get to add car shopping to the mix.  I am just glad that she didn't get hurt more than a few bruises!

Tonight once getting back home safe and getting everyone to bed I had a major task I needed to complete.  I am in the process of going through everything in the house and making sure that when we have to move out of the house that we have gotten rid of everything that we don't need or is Kyle's-getting it to him.  The job this week was to go through all the boys baby clothes. I can now say after 3 hours that I am done. I have pulled out the ones that are memorable to me and dividing up the rest for friends with littler boys who will wear them and enjoy them.  This is emotionally hard for me because I had a miscarriage on October 15th.  After trying for 9 months the excitement and planning for a new baby to join our family amidst all the craziness going on between Kyle & I really wears on me.  How did I not see this all happening?  I feel like so stupid looking back.  But, I guess this kid just needed to be here for a short time enough to gain a body no matter how small he/she was.  These clothes would have been passed on if it was a brother but I will have to wait until I die to find out.  Instead I am grateful for friends who have active little boys who will enjoy them and I will still get to smile as I recognize the familiar outfits.  Clothes and material possessions don't bring happiness, happiness comes from within and living and keeping the commandments.  It will bring a little smile to my face as I get to remember the good times when I see them.  In every bad situation comes something good, I know it!

**If I get married and have kids again, I can start over with the clothes, they really are just things!**