Sunday, November 25, 2012

November recap

Sometimes my kids help me realize how much healing has come in my life.  I love my boys so much.  I try to help them be better people.  The boys had the opportunity to spend time with Kyle Thanksgiving this year.  During this time they were able to attend Kyle & Gretchen's wedding.  They were able to spend time with Kyle's family who came into town for the event.  Tonight at 6 pm I finally got them back.  I was so excited.  They seem to have grown so much in the 11 days since I have last seen them.  They are just as energetic as I remember them.  I love these little guys so much.  TinTin was excited to show me his skinny jeans and asked me to take a picture of him bum as soon as he got home.
Aftern dinner, baths,and books Kaden asked if we could take a picture so he could remember this day forever because he loves me so much.
 And this crazy little guy had his bath, he went in my closet and pulled out some heels and started prancing around the upstairs giggling and saying "wiggle my hips, shake my hips."  It's a good thing he likes so many boyish things as well.  I am grateful for the smiles and laughter they all bring into my life.

Hyrum at bedtime tonight was sad and had a worried look on his face.  After getting the littles to sleep, I laid down next to him to read James & The Giant Peach with him and talk.  I asked him why he was sad and upset and that he should be excited and happy since he just had a fun week off of school.  Hyrum told me that he is sad that his dad and I are not married.  He is worried that I have no one to make me happy.  We got to talking more and I tried to help him to realize that his dad deserves to be happy and that I am happy.  I helped him realize that just because his dad is remarried doesn't mean that he has to stop loving me, that he in fact is lucky because he has more people who he gets to love and who love him.  It was sad to see his feelings of being torn in being excited for his dad and worrying about hurting me.  The thing that I kept trying to emphasize is that him being excited for his dad and Gretchen is a good thing, and it is ok if he comes home excited about their marriage, it doesn't hurt my feelings.  Hopefully this will be a turning point for Hyrum and he can finally accept the fact that Kyle & I will never be together ever again.  I am sad for my kids, especially Hyrum though that at the age of 8 he has to process all these feelings and emotions and he isn't able to just be an innocent child and that he has had to grow up so soon.  It was also a great learning time for me as a parent to help him try to grasp the concept that everyone deserves to be happy and that some people choose to be happy and that others think they have to find their happiness.

I am wrapping up my first semester of school.  I have managed to keep straight As so far, sometimes by the skin of my teeth, but I am pulling it off.  I have been having fun dating a few new people here and there and learning what I really want in a guy.  I have been working on making Christmas presents for my boys.  I have found a new school that will allow me to get the same degree but graduate much sooner because of the way they offer their classes.  I should be able to graduate Spring 2014 if I push myself hard or if I take a more lax schedule I will be done Summer 2014.  I am counting down these last 2 weeks of school and then finals before my month long break.  I am excited for a chance to spend more time with my kids and not stay up late studying.  I am excited to see where the next few months take me.  I am re-learning some hobbies that I enjoyed before and am also continuing my travels.  No big trips are in the works as of now, but the little trips are lots of fun!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Almost Thanksgiving!

Day20
Today I am thankful for my house and the comforts in it. After being homeless for awhile this year, having a secure roof over my head and a place to call my own is wonderful! I love knowing I have my own bed to crawl in to at night and food and covers to keep me warm at night. The other things are great and wonderful and I am thankful for the people who took my boys and I in....but there is something about being an adult and being able to provide for basic needs independent of others!

Day 19
Today my real thankful is for Stewart Cramer (AKA Possible Uncle Stu.) He makes my sister Tia happy like no one else has - even though he jokes about common law marriage I know one day he will marry her because he loves her.... loves the crazy Zoey dog.... and will skype with my boys at any time he is home....builds a mean sand castle.... can be serious but is more playful and fun.... allows me to sleep in his office and use his pillow and blanket when I show up at a few hours notice from a foreign country.... and is coming for Christmas this year with my sister and her dog. Let the fun begin!


Day 18

Today I'm thankful for my Aunt Gerane. Today she passed away but at least she is finally with her parents and siblings with whom she has missed for years!  Her funeral is this Saturday in Malad, Idaho.  She was the last of the Apgoods around and even though she had a pretty painless death thanks to the comforts of medicines in the hospital, I could not imagine having a broken leg, pneumonia, rapid heart rate along with her memory problems from all her mini strokes.  This picture was from the last time I got to see her alive, she had been moved out of her home into an assisted living facility and luckily remembered who I was.  She did not remember that I had moved out of Utah years before, but at least she seemed content in her life.  I am so glad that she is not with her MaMa and Daddy as she called them and for the years that I spent living close to her in Ogden.  I learned so many things about my own Mom's dad (my grandpa) who passed away when I was a baby.  You will be missed Gerane, but I am sure you are racing around in heaven without your cane.  I will always remember her playing ball with Hyrum and having an unlimited supply of sodas and hi-c juice boxes in her fridge.  I loved that she would take us out to eat for dinner when it was a true treat for us, and that she helped me slow down my own life and enjoy scenic drives through the country.  Visits to Utah will not be the same without going to her house on 20th Street but I am glad to know she finally got her wish to be with her family once again!



Saturday, November 17, 2012

Thanksgiving

Day 17
Today I am thankful for Christmas and the time I get to enjoy the holidays with my boys and the much needed break from school I will get.
Day 16
Today I'm thanks full for no class on Fridays. I somehow managed to luck into this next semester too. And I'm thankful to figure out my degree plan and realize I can graduate summer 2014! A year and a half and I shouldn't even have to kill myself to do it!

Day 15
Today I am thankful for the cafeteria workers at the boys school, they save their favorite cereals for them and pull them out with a smile on days when we are running late so there are no melt downs....it's the little things! It doesn't matter if they know English or not, they know my boys and their favorites!
Day 14
Today I am thankful for the mail man. I might not check the mail every day, but it is awesome when I do and there are packages and real letters inside!
 
Day 13
Today I'm grateful for wool socks and heaters. I don't know how I survived cold winters.

Day 12
Today I'm grateful for modern medicine and not having to have sick kids forever.  Quinten has strep yet again...one more time and get gets his tonsils taken out.
 
Day 11
Today I'm thankful for all the people who help me with my kids during church. Without these friends I honesty don't think I would make it with my boys. So thank you a million times over!! 
We also got to see Sierra a few more times before she took off for Korea, we loved the time we got to spend with her!

Day 10
Today I'm thankful I can cherish the moments and other days I cherish the idea that they rush by.

Day 9
Today I am thankful for my parents for encouraging me and helping me through high school way back when....you never know when the past will come back to help you!!  I have been able to qualify for some merit based grants this year in school....it is nice to know that my knowledge can help me and not just my poor financial status.

Day 8
Today I'm grateful for my boys babysitter. Sam is awesome and even puts up with being called Samuel from TinTin. It's nice knowing that even though I can't be the one with them all day that they have someone responsible who plays with them and keeps them safe!
Day 7
Today I'm grateful to be a Texan. If we want to secede we can be our own country again!  I also love that it is warm here on Halloween, this was the costume change Kaden had to make because his original costume was too hot.

Day 6
Today I'm grateful for daylight savings time. It means that I can be a night owl and not feel so bad about the time I go to sleep and waking up at o'dark thirty is now o'light thirty!

Day 5
Today I am grateful for April because she joined my family today as her and my brother are married!! Welcome to the craziness of the Buchanans April!!  I am excited to get to spend Thanksgiving with them.
Day 4
Today I am grateful for Sundays at 6. I might grumble about the time occasionally, but when it comes down to it, there is nothing like my 3 ring circus making it home safe and getting to spend time with them.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Thankful

It's November, the month of Thanksgiving, I am going to post on here things I am thankful for.  To catch my blog up, here are the things from the last few days I posted on Facebook.

Day 3     Today I am grateful for the last year of my life. A year ago last night my life changed dramatically and surprisingly with all I've been through I can still say its for the better. I've met so many wonderful new people and grown closer to many of those I already knew. Love each day to the fullest, enjoy the now, and look to the future with hope!

Day 2     Today I'm thankful for my voice. After sounding like a 14 year old boy with a cracking voice mixed with Hannah Montana all week it's nice to have it back! I'm also thankful for air conditioning. One really appreciates things more when they break and you don't have them.

Day 1     Today I am thankful for a B on my muscle test considering the class average was F. If only I could spell muscle names I would have had an A. But still I'm thankful! 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Latest Trick


One of my favorite tricks these days when I know the boys are exhausted but refuse to go to sleep because it isn't 7:45 is to change the clock an hour ahead.  With the sun going down earlier they don't know the difference and usually will fall asleep fast.  In theory this should get me to bed an hour earlier too, but alas I only day dream about dreaming.

Tonight's late night project is finishing up Halloween costumes.  Quinten will be a skeleton - done just bought the glow in the dark pajamas at Old Navy and white face paint.  Kaden wants to be a scuba diver - have all the parts just waiting on the spray paint to dry so I can assemble it all together.  Hyrum wants to be a ninja - everything is almost ready to be put together. It is fun finding little outlets for my creative side to show again as I have been so wrapped up in studying.

Crazy Days & Long Nights

There are days when I wonder how I am going to get all of my school work done. I am not a huge procrastinator and yet it seems like there are new group assignments or new homework assignments that need to be turned in on top of the already crazy work load I have. Then to add to the mix there are days when my boys decide it would be great to turn on the hose and "wash" the living room - thus putting a good inch or so of water in it. Last night they decided that the shampoo bottle needed to be dumped out to make a bubble storm. They tried to clean it up with a tube of brand new toothpaste. You might ask where I am during all of these adventures. I am there, but I seem to be a step behind in cleaning up the messes. I am trying to figure out how to be present in my children's lives without being a slave to their imaginative ways? 


Last week when Heidi was in town we took the boys to Chuck E Cheese and this is how Quinten's creative brain worked.  He would put the token in the carriage and instead of riding in the pumpkin part he decided he wanted to ride the horse as it was moving too.  Kaden saw and thought it was a fun idea as well though he was a little bit more uncomfortable as he is bigger.  There was a little girl who was loving all the free rides she was able to take in Cinderella's carriage thanks to him.  It seemed to be a win-win situation for all.
These are my favorite 3 boys in the entire world!!  Heidi was able to capture this picture thanks to a sucker bribe.  Even though there are days that are crazy and I wish things would be a little bit easier, I try to remember that one day I will miss the days of them being little and so much work.  I love watching them learn and be the active little boys that they are.  One perk to being constantly on the move, today I was able to cinch in my belt another notch!  Soon enough this semester will be over and I should hopefully have straight A's.  Then the nights of little sleep and studying will be worth it.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Goals

Setting goals is important in life.  Not only serious practical goals, but fun ones as well.  I made a goal to go on 30 trips while I was 30.  This weekend I completed my goal!  Some were huge trips, others were short day trips, but it was fun and I surprised myself with how quickly I completed this goal.  Last night as I was driving home from my friend's house I set a new goal for myself.  It is a strange yet fun goal....
I want to eat at 30 hole in the wall places/stands while I am 30.  It shouldn't be too hard to complete this but I am going to make sure and take a  picture of each place and post it on the side to make the tally a little more interesting.  If you ever finda place you think I should try, let me know!

**Changing this goal to just 30 new places to eat, I am sure there will be some random places, but just making it 30 new places.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Life's Lessons Learned

I have learned some important life lessons over the last few years.  

There is never an opportune time for a relationship.  You can't know what you are truly ready for if you don't try and give it your 100%.  That 100% might change based on the other demands you have going on in your life, but it is better to give all you've got than to be left wondering in a few weeks, months, years what if?

I have been trying to think of an analogy of what dating is like, my friend today explained it best like this.  When you take a kid to the Children's Museum there are so many things that capture their attention in each room.  Every child has different likes and dislikes, but you are in this amazing place why would you want to sit stuck in the same room the entire day when there is the rest of the museum out there to explore.  So as parents we guide our children into the next room, the kids don't always go willingly to the next room, sometimes they kick and scream or run back into the room where they were playing because it is just so much fun and they don't know what awaits them in the next room.  Once the kid gets into the next room they realize that there is in fact something just as wonderful and grand, if not even better waiting for them there.  Once again, we don't know if we allow our fear to take over or we are waiting for the perfect circumstances.

Having trust in people is an issue for me.  It is hard for me to know when what I'm being told is in fact what is really going on in relationships.  I am thankful for loving counselors and friends who help me figure out life and to continue having faith in the greater good.

In school I've been learning about classical conditioning.  I feel that I'm currently fighting tooth and nail against many of the conditioned responses that I have learned through out my life.  I'm hoping to help my boys learn and know that there are people in their lives who will be there no matter what.  I am grateful to know that no matter what though I have a loving Heavenly Father who is only a prayer away.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Dating

All weekend I have been lost in thoughts of dating.  No one tells you that you will make a new best friend after you date for awhile, they also don't tell you that you might fall in love (which is terrifying to me) and that it still might end....

Here are some of my quotes I have found interesting on dating.


In its purest form, dating is auditioning for mating (and auditioning means we may or may not get the part).
JOY BROWNE, Dating for Dummies


Successful dating is not a destination, but rather it is a journey. This journey can either continue as marriage or friendship.
NOAH MITCHELL, The Nitty Gritt


Dating isn't fun. It's not always awful, mind you, and sometimes your date will do something unexpected and lovely, like open the door for you and pretend that he likes cats. But the most valuable reason to embark upon a dating spree is for the wisdom--and the great stories.
LAURIE PERRY, Crazy Aunt Purl's Home Is Where the Wine Is


From the minute we're born, boys and girls stare at each other, trying to figure out if they like what they see. Like parade lines, passing each other for mutual inspection. You march, you look. You march, you look. If you're interested, you stop and talk, and if it doesn't work out, you just get back in the parade. You keep marching, and you keep looking.
PAUL REISER, Couplehood

Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses'.”
JOHN LENNON

Every great love starts with a great story
NICHOLAS SPARKS

And with because of honesty and no secrets, I am thrown back into the dating pool one less friend in this world.  It seems as though it is impossible to still be friends when both people are still attracted to one another - I learned this the last time.  I am grateful for all that I have learned and for keeping my priorities in check.  My boys mean the world to me and I am glad to have them to focus on and take care of.  I am also grateful for the distraction of school.  What has surprised me out of all of this is that I am not hurting like I thought I would.  I had already done my own internal assessment of the situation and was at peace with where things stood.  And so yet again I have lost someone who has become an integral part of my life, but I am grateful for the time I got and the important life lessons that I learned.  Life must go on!  The last 6 months have been some of the most fun experiences I have had in years.  I don't feel I have truly found myself still post divorce, but I am well on my way!




Sunday, October 14, 2012

Ft. Sam Houston

Saturday we were able to go see my cousin who is down here for training in the Army. I haven't seen her in years, but she figured out a few parks on post that we were able to go to and it was Octoberfest so the boys were able to pay some carnival games and ride a few rides.  Hyrum was thrilled to be able to play football with a few of the soldiers and surprised them with his strong arm.
Driving past this cemetery was very humbling. There were rows upon rows of headstones with nothing but numbers engraved on them.  The spirit there was very neat.
Hyrum enjoys a good game of tag, he talked Sierra into playing with him even though it was burning hot and had a great time.



One of the 2 formations we watched that day, the soldiers are not allowed to go off post during this training yet so they call roll twice a day to make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be.
We all had a wonderful, relaxing day and enjoyed all the time that we got to spend with Sierra.  I remember being in 11th grade watching her play in the ball pits when she was in kindergarten.  Now here I am all these years later with my own little kids.  I feel old.   :)  Sierra will finish up her training here on Halloween then will go home for 2 weeks before she is deployed to Korea for a year.  As we were driving away the boys kept asking when we would get to go back and see her again.  Today as well they asked when we could see her.  I am sure if we could figure out a way they would love to eat dinner with her nightly.  Thanks Sierra for supporting our freedom and being a positive role model to my boys!!

Motherhood

The last few weeks a lot of interesting things have been happening in my life.  All of them have impressed upon my the importance of being a responsible parent and of loving my boys even more.  I am grateful for their blunt honesty and their ability to bounce back from setbacks.  They are a great strength to me.  I never imagined being a mother would feel like this, it is a definite adventure, but I love it!

Make Your Bed

My Grandpa JD has told me from the time I was a little girl that I should make my bed, as the years have gone on, I have noticed the difference that it makes in my life.  Here is a quote from an article that I read tonight, and I can honestly say after a few years of making my bed, I would have to agree!

"the state of your bed is the state of your head." I think she is on to something. When I leave my bed in a heap, I leave the bedroom feeling defeated by my bed, my alarm clock, and my general sleepy mood. I'm groggy and reluctant to get the day started. My internal voice sounds a bit like the strewn covers, "Noooooo morning! Gooooo awaaaaaay!" 

But when I look at my freshly made bed, I have to admit it: I smile a little. I feel just a bit more motivated. Productive, even. I leave the room saying, "Goodbye beautiful little den of tranquility that I have created with my bare hands!" And I'm ready to tackle the day — crush it, even.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Kidney Stones

Tales of my Kidneys, round 20+

I am blessed to be born with 2 kidneys, however they do not work properly.  They enjoy producing kidney stones and have for the last 12 plus years.  I have been battling this latest round of kidney stones for 3 weeks.  Finally, Saturday after going paint balling (never been before and it was awesome!) and ending up with some pretty amazing welts but my kidney's still being the main cause of my pain, I decided it was time to go in.  Mind you, I am not puking my guts out like I was when all of this began. I look and am acting normal, my right back just has some major flank pains going on.  I drove myself to the ER because I am stubborn like that, I even had an offer for a ride.  Long story short, 15 1/2 hours of waiting later and then 4 1/2 hours of being pumped full of IVs and pain meds I am on the mend and hoping to get this pesky little guy unstuck for the last time and out of my body.  Moral of the story, do not go to University Hospital unless you arrive on an ambulance of life flight and if you look normal, you are going to have a LONG LONG wait.  It might have been better to make myself throw up to get seen sooner, though there were many others who waited even longer than I did.  One guy had gun shot wounds and still had to wait longer than me!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The ordinary

Being a single parent has it's days when you just want to throw your hands up and scream, I can't do this anymore!  You are overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done around you....  Then you pray for strength to get through bed time and enjoy your kids for the time that you have them, because what else can you really do?  Then something amazing happens, a random solicitor knocks on your door and it turns out they belong to your church and you talk for awhile and they tell you about National Night Out around the corner and it is just what you and your kids need to make it through the night and finish the day on a strong, positive note.  Welcome to my night tonight.  This is exactly what happened, and now the dirt is washed off, and the boys are tucked under the covers and sound asleep.



 I found this quote on another blog, I think it's true. Enjoy!


The extraordinary, the amazing, the phenomena are daily glorified in the movies, the news, and on television. Our senses become bombarded. We become addicted to drama. The only things that get our attention are the big, catastrophic, knee-jerking events.

Take a closer look at your life, your everyday world, and the people and activities in it. If it were all taken from you in one moment, what would you miss? What sights, what sounds, what smells? Would you miss the view from your kitchen window? If you were never to see that scene again, would you nostalgically reminisce about it, wishing you could see it one more time, remembering how beautiful it was, and how much that familiar sight comforted you in your daily life?

What about those toys strewn about or the baby crying because he's hungry or wet? What about the sounds of the city you live in as it comes to life each morning? Or how about how your child smells after her bath? Or when she comes in cold from playing in the snow?

What about the way your friend smiles, or that little thing he says all the time that's not funny but he thinks it is, so you laugh?

Look closely at the ordinary in your life. While you're being grateful, don't forget to express pure, sheer gratitude for how beautiful the ordinary really is. We can easily overlook the ordinary, take it for granted. The sun rises and sets, the seasons come and go, and we forget how beautiful and sensational the familiar really is.

God thank you for every detail of my ordinary, everyday world.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Lucky One

This weekend I had the boys and we were busy, not busy in the sense that we had to go a million places and get so many things done, but busy playing and me studying.


The smallest thing can change your life
in the blink of an eye, something happens by chance, when you least expect it
sets you on a course that you never planned into a future you never imagined... Where will it take you? That's the journey of our lives. Our search for the light. 
(from the movie The Lucky One)


To keep the boys entertained and for us to have a fun activity on this otherwise rainy weekend we set up the tent in the living room and had a camp out.  We ate smores and had ourselves a book marathon. The boys also watched my school dvd and Kaden decided he would like a microscope for Christmas. Hyrum realized that he likes science. Quinten decided that he is willing to sit through an entire 50 minute video.  Surprising to be because it was going over the organs in the body, whatever floats the kids boat I guess!

I am the lucky one!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Christmas

I feel like I am waking up every day and it is Christmas morning. That is not to say that life is perfect, let me tell you there is enough going on to fill many people's lives with stress.  But my life is now one that I am in charge of.  I am grateful to be alive and living the life that I am.  I am grateful for all that I am learning in most aspects of my life.  Knowing that happiness comes from within oneself has changed my life.

On that note I have had to use some creative parenting tricks around here these days.  I am trying to squeeze in enough hours to give my boys the attention they need, study and make good grades, and still have a life and date.  Today's creative idea was to set up the tent in the living room allowing the boys to play camping.  Instead the boys decided they wanted to learn with me and now Kaden says he wants a microscope for Christmas.  At least I could explain things to them thus helping me remember even if they will not remember anything.  And we have the tent set up to sleep in tonight inside in the air conditioning and have a nice bathroom nearby.  My kind of camping!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Remember

I woke up this morning with a word running through my head. 
REMEMBER.  
I kept thinking remember what?
My head then quickly ran through the things I needed to get done today.  I checked my phone and there was nothing there that I felt I really needed to remember.  But the word would not leave my head.  I started to think about all the things I wanted to remember, all the things that are important to me. I realized that as I have felt so busy these days that I need to remember and prioritize what I choose to spend my time on. Who I choose to spend my free time with. I haven't been performing at my highest lately and feel like I am often forgetting little details and events.  I do not like this feeling. In the short spurts of calm in my life I have forgotten who has helped me get to where I am in my life. I need to stop and remember and give thanks for all the things that I have.  I am making new goals and posting them where I will be able to read them every morning and every night.  I want to always remember.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

6 Months

Here is the long awaited update from the last few weeks. The pictures are in random order and I don't want to take the time to switch them around, so there will be some jumpiness.
Labor Day the boys were brought back early so instead of Brian and I going on the date we had planned, those plans were adapted to including the kids and we took a trip out to the Natural Bridge Caverns Wild Life Safari.  The boys have gone before, and loved it. This time, though fun, was not as great because it was way too hot and the animals were not very hungry and were staying far back from the road. We did not even see the zebras.  I am thinking that since they are adding on and making a new trail to drive through that they have some of the animals in a different part that will not be opened up until Spring 2013.  And a big deal - my sisters can vouch for this is Hyrum not screaming like a girl and actually getting near the Ostriches.  This ostrich in the petting zoo was loving Kaden and several times buried his head in the bag of food and went to town.
Quinten & Kaden feeding the llama.

Hyrum & I on both our first days of school.  Hyrum is in 3rd grade this year.  He is enjoying school but  is still adjusting to the amount of school work that comes with being older and in 3rd grade.  Instead of zipping through his homework in 20 minutes he can still be found sitting at the table 45 minutes after he begins.  He has a wonderful teacher this year though and his 2nd grade teacher prepared him well for 3rd grade!
When you ask Kaden what he did at school, the answer he will most likely give you is that "I got to ride the bus!"  He LOVES the bus ride home and his bus driver.  He will tell you which seat he sits in and which street he lives on so he won't forget to get off and go to someone else's house.  I take the boys to school in the morning and they ride the bus home. Kaden rides with just kids in his pre-k class. Because Kaden talks so highly about the bus ride, Quinten is already counting down the years until he gets to ride the school bus too!
Kaden is the good morning paparazzi. I think he got my love for taking pictures.
This was the first day of Pre K for Kaden. Because of my current income he qualifies for the school Pre-K program.  He mastered all of his learning objectives for the PPCD program he was in last year.  Here is his happy smile because he remembered how much fun it is to get a tray for breakfast at school.
Here is the sad please don't leave here me mom and dad face.  Kaden was not happy to be left at school. His teacher let me know that he cried long enough to let us walk out the door than he was happy again.
Brian & I went on a fun date to see a movie outside in the park one night and we had our picture taken and made it into the paper the following Sunday.
Quinten is quite the budding artist. This boy loves coloring, and painting and all things arts and crafts. He has mastered using scissors and loves chopping paper into tiny bits.  One of his favorite toys he carries around in the back of his little trike is a paint brush (or two).  When he plays, paint brushes have turned into kayak paddles, guns, flags, tent poles, bath toys.  He loves painting!
This kid is also still in love with motorcycles. We took the boys bowling to celebrate going back to school and while we waited for an open lane they got to play a few games.  Quinten says this is just like our friend Mr Colin's cycle.
At the animal safari in the petting zoo, this goat swiped TinTin's bag of food. He was not very happy about it at all and went back to go get it. The goat of course ate part of the paper and Quinten told him that he "wu-wined" his bag and proceeded to dump all the remaining food out in front of the goat and then came to ask for more.  Silly kid. 
I have a picture of each of my boys swinging on this swing at my brother's house.
I took the boys up to Austin to my brother's house one weekend and Quinten had one of his life's dreams come true. He got to ride in a tractor!  If you really know TinTin, you know that he will run as fast as he can after any kind of tractor. He was thrilled this day because not only did he get to sit in it, he was allowed to help the man drive it and knock down a little outside building.  He was in heaven!

So now that the picture update is done here are some more of my thoughts and updates....

I have successfully finished 2 weeks of school.  I am taking 14 hours my first semester back in 8 1/2 years.  It is a full load. Three of my classes are easier and my forth - anatomy and physiology is more challenging.  It is straight up memorization which I am not so great at.  I have great teachers though and as long as the boys go to bed on time I am able to study and get my work done.  So far I have been able to get a lot done on my kid free weekends and try to get ahead so that my time with the boys doesn't suffer as much.  I am hoping to be finished with school in 2 - 2 1/2 years with my bachelors and continue on after that to either become a physical therapist or an occupational therapist.  So lots of years of schooling still ahead of me, but I am going to try to push through the summers and finish sooner rather than later. People at school ask if I work as well as go to school, I tell them yes as a single mother to 3 active boys.  I have gotten several comments that it might be easier to have a paying job instead. Though that might be easier, it would not be as rewarding and I love that my boys are (right now) cheer leaders for me while I am in school. I am sure there are going to be days when we all hate it and wish it was a few years down the line from now when school is done, but we are already growing closer to together because of team work.

This last week was also another major milestone passed for me.  It would have been my 10 year anniversary with Kyle. Here was my facebook status 
"I love Fun holidays and traditions. Including new and uncharted (for me) ones. Happy 1/2 a year of freedom to me! Celebrate with me by finding someone you love and telling them! And if you want to eat a treat and go out with your friends feel free to do that too. 
Sometimes less really is more!"
I celebrated it with a bunch of people going night tubing.  These guys and girl knew the reason for going was to celebrate freedom and it was a fun night, though a bit cold.it was just what I needed.  I am at the point where I am ok with being divorced.  Some people have told me that I make divorce into this glorified thing. Let me tell you, the better choice would have been for selfishness to be cast aside and vows and covenants to be honored. But because I can only choose the way I act, I am ok with moving on.  I am happy with where I am in my life and though there are still many times there uncertainty creeps into my mind, I am happy.  I more often than not have a smile on my face and enjoy the fact that I get to do what I want to do when I want to do it.  I love having my kids, and as challenging as it is being a single mother, I am not alone in raising them. There are so many wonderful amazing friends and families that have stepped up to the plate in helping me.  My boys have positive, uplifting role models and honorary grandparents.  I got really sick yesterday and had lots of people call to check on me or drop things by my house.  It is nice to be taken care of when I feel like I would rather die!

Hyrum is a great kid. He is growing up so fast these days.  He is growing in more ways than just being a giant. He is curious about his body and cares more about the way he looks when he leaves the house.  He is still really into legos and nerf guns. He has made quite a few new friends this year at his new school.  He reads books left and right and is always asking for more books. He is really interested in history books.  His brain can't get enough of it.  He talks about girls and we have had the sex talk.  He is sometimes too smart for his own good.  This school year I hope that as he keeps going to counseling that he will be able to smile more often and accept the fact that Kyle & I will never get back together.  He still many a nights will ask me if that will ever happen. He says that life isn't fair.  He is right though, life isn't fair but we need to make the best of what is dished up to us. I have tried to let him know that he has more people who love him and in that way he is lucky.  He is an amazing big brother and my best helper.  The other boys look up to him so much and Hyrum is learning the beauty of younger siblings being your helpers to get job done sooner.  Hyrum is also almost done with his wolf in cub scouts. We are working hard to get this finished so he can more on to the next level.  He loves scout nights and getting his uniform on and being on time and ready to go.

Kaden has adjusted really well to school. He is so funny. He has decided that he is the owner of the remote control at our house and if we can't find it we know to ask him.  He is very sharp and can remember pretty much anything and everything.  The one thing he does like to forget is where he takes his glasses off and leaves them. His problem with wearing his glasses is he takes them off when they get dirty instead of just asking for them to be cleaned. Then he doesn't want to remember where his glasses are because he doesn't want to wear dirty glasses.  I have started leaving out the spray and the cloth in hopes that he will start cleaning his own, he has gotten a lot better with this.  Kade also thinks that he needs to sleep in my bed many a nights.  He will lay down in his and several nights I have been startled when I finally crawl into my bed and he is laying diagonal underneath the pillows.  Kaden is still a great money saver and is in the stage where he wants to be my helper all the time. I love hearing him sing the songs he sings at school too.  He is still my wolf in sheep's clothing. He can change from world's greatest helper to middle brother who is bossy and attacks everyone else really fast.

Quinten is a crazy little fireball. He makes me laugh so much and pretty much always has a smile on his face.  He loves the fact that he gets to sleep on the top bunk bed and I love the fact that he will actually stay in bed and go to sleep.   That is one change that has been very noticeable since I got the boys back after July. They stay in bed when it is bed time.  Quinten has learned the skill of bargaining from Hyrum. He wants to do things to earn prizes or treats. This little boy is a candy-o-holic if he could be.  He is still super athletic and coordinated. He can climb, jump, and wrestle with the best of them.  He will occasionally get hurt but all I have to do is ask him if he wants to stop playing with the big kids and he will go get right back into it. He loves hot wheels and building with legos.  He is hilarious to watch in a nerf gun fight and has not mastered secret keeping yet. All I have to say to him if I want him to tell his brothers something is to ask him to keep a secret and he will run away and go whisper it into their ears.  This is currently a nice skill he possesses when it is dinner time and I am wanting everyone to come downstairs.

So I think that is the update on us as a family.  We are loving life, but not so much early mornings and going out and finding lots of things to do to keep our days, nights, and weekends busy.  We are surviving and thriving and moving forward super fast in these crazy fun life we live.

Monday, September 3, 2012

L-O-V-E

It has been quiet on my blog lately, not on purpose, but life has gotten so busy lately! There are 3 of us in school, including me and it seems like every spare second is filled with something or someone.  I have so much I want to say and write down to remember I am making it a goal to get this updated by the end of the week!  Until there here is a picture of my most favorite boys in the entire world on the first day of school!  I love them so much!


President Thomas S. Monson, stated: “I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.” That's what being a mother is, it's service. That's why it brings so much joy. So tonight, when you've had a long day and your kids are on your nerves, realize how much different you would be without them."