November recap

Sometimes my kids help me realize how much healing has come in my life.  I love my boys so much.  I try to help them be better people.  The boys had the opportunity to spend time with Kyle Thanksgiving this year.  During this time they were able to attend Kyle & Gretchen's wedding.  They were able to spend time with Kyle's family who came into town for the event.  Tonight at 6 pm I finally got them back.  I was so excited.  They seem to have grown so much in the 11 days since I have last seen them.  They are just as energetic as I remember them.  I love these little guys so much.  TinTin was excited to show me his skinny jeans and asked me to take a picture of him bum as soon as he got home.

Aftern dinner, baths,and books Kaden asked if we could take a picture so he could remember this day forever because he loves me so much.

 And this crazy little guy had his bath, he went in my closet and pulled out some heels and started prancing around the upstairs giggling and saying "wiggle my hips, shake my hips."  It's a good thing he likes so many boyish things as well.  I am grateful for the smiles and laughter they all bring into my life.

Hyrum at bedtime tonight was sad and had a worried look on his face.  After getting the littles to sleep, I laid down next to him to read James & The Giant Peach with him and talk.  I asked him why he was sad and upset and that he should be excited and happy since he just had a fun week off of school.  Hyrum told me that he is sad that his dad and I are not married.  He is worried that I have no one to make me happy.  We got to talking more and I tried to help him to realize that his dad deserves to be happy and that I am happy.  I helped him realize that just because his dad is remarried doesn't mean that he has to stop loving me, that he in fact is lucky because he has more people who he gets to love and who love him.  It was sad to see his feelings of being torn in being excited for his dad and worrying about hurting me.  The thing that I kept trying to emphasize is that him being excited for his dad and Gretchen is a good thing, and it is ok if he comes home excited about their marriage, it doesn't hurt my feelings.  Hopefully this will be a turning point for Hyrum and he can finally accept the fact that Kyle & I will never be together ever again.  I am sad for my kids, especially Hyrum though that at the age of 8 he has to process all these feelings and emotions and he isn't able to just be an innocent child and that he has had to grow up so soon.  It was also a great learning time for me as a parent to help him try to grasp the concept that everyone deserves to be happy and that some people choose to be happy and that others think they have to find their happiness.

I am wrapping up my first semester of school.  I have managed to keep straight As so far, sometimes by the skin of my teeth, but I am pulling it off.  I have been having fun dating a few new people here and there and learning what I really want in a guy.  I have been working on making Christmas presents for my boys.  I have found a new school that will allow me to get the same degree but graduate much sooner because of the way they offer their classes.  I should be able to graduate Spring 2014 if I push myself hard or if I take a more lax schedule I will be done Summer 2014.  I am counting down these last 2 weeks of school and then finals before my month long break.  I am excited for a chance to spend more time with my kids and not stay up late studying.  I am excited to see where the next few months take me.  I am re-learning some hobbies that I enjoyed before and am also continuing my travels.  No big trips are in the works as of now, but the little trips are lots of fun!

Almost Thanksgiving!

Day20

Today I am thankful for my house and the comforts in it. After being homeless for awhile this year, having a secure roof over my head and a place to call my own is wonderful! I love knowing I have my own bed to crawl in to at night and food and covers to keep me warm at night. The other things are great and wonderful and I am thankful for the people who took my boys and I in....but there is something about being an adult and being able to provide for basic needs independent of others!

Day 19

Today my real thankful is for Stewart Cramer (AKA Possible Uncle Stu.) He makes my sister Tia happy like no one else has - even though he jokes about common law marriage I know one day he will marry her because he loves her.... loves the crazy Zoey dog.... and will skype with my boys at any time he is home....builds a mean sand castle.... can be serious but is more playful and fun.... allows me to sleep in his office and use his pillow and blanket when I show up at a few hours notice from a foreign country.... and is coming for Christmas this year with my sister and her dog. Let the fun begin!

Day 18

Today I'm thankful for my Aunt Gerane. Today she passed away but at least she is finally with her parents and siblings with whom she has missed for years!  Her funeral is this Saturday in Malad, Idaho.  She was the last of the Apgoods around and even though she had a pretty painless death thanks to the comforts of medicines in the hospital, I could not imagine having a broken leg, pneumonia, rapid heart rate along with her memory problems from all her mini strokes.  This picture was from the last time I got to see her alive, she had been moved out of her home into an assisted living facility and luckily remembered who I was.  She did not remember that I had moved out of Utah years before, but at least she seemed content in her life.  I am so glad that she is not with her MaMa and Daddy as she called them and for the years that I spent living close to her in Ogden.  I learned so many things about my own Mom's dad (my grandpa) who passed away when I was a baby.  You will be missed Gerane, but I am sure you are racing around in heaven without your cane.  I will always remember her playing ball with Hyrum and having an unlimited supply of sodas and hi-c juice boxes in her fridge.  I loved that she would take us out to eat for dinner when it was a true treat for us, and that she helped me slow down my own life and enjoy scenic drives through the country.  Visits to Utah will not be the same without going to her house on 20th Street but I am glad to know she finally got her wish to be with her family once again!

Thanksgiving

Day 17

Today I am thankful for Christmas and the time I get to enjoy the holidays with my boys and the much needed break from school I will get.

Day 16

Today I'm thanks full for no class on Fridays. I somehow managed to luck into this next semester too. And I'm thankful to figure out my degree plan and realize I can graduate summer 2014! A year and a half and I shouldn't even have to kill myself to do it!

Day 15

Today I am thankful for the cafeteria workers at the boys school, they save their favorite cereals for them and pull them out with a smile on days when we are running late so there are no melt downs....it's the little things! It doesn't matter if they know English or not, they know my boys and their favorites!

Day 14

Today I am thankful for the mail man. I might not check the mail every day, but it is awesome when I do and there are packages and real letters inside!

 

Day 13

Today I'm grateful for wool socks and heaters. I don't know how I survived cold winters.

Day 12

Today I'm grateful for modern medicine and not having to have sick kids forever.  Quinten has strep yet again...one more time and get gets his tonsils taken out.

 

Day 11

Today I'm thankful for all the people who help me with my kids during church. Without these friends I honesty don't think I would make it with my boys. So thank you a million times over!! 
We also got to see Sierra a few more times before she took off for Korea, we loved the time we got to spend with her!

Day 10

Today I'm thankful I can cherish the moments and other days I cherish the idea that they rush by.

Day 9

Today I am thankful for my parents for encouraging me and helping me through high school way back when....you never know when the past will come back to help you!!  I have been able to qualify for some merit based grants this year in school....it is nice to know that my knowledge can help me and not just my poor financial status.

Day 8

Today I'm grateful for my boys babysitter. Sam is awesome and even puts up with being called Samuel from TinTin. It's nice knowing that even though I can't be the one with them all day that they have someone responsible who plays with them and keeps them safe!

Day 7

Today I'm grateful to be a Texan. If we want to secede we can be our own country again!  I also love that it is warm here on Halloween, this was the costume change Kaden had to make because his original costume was too hot.

Day 6

Today I'm grateful for daylight savings time. It means that I can be a night owl and not feel so bad about the time I go to sleep and waking up at o'dark thirty is now o'light thirty!

Day 5

Today I am grateful for April because she joined my family today as her and my brother are married!! Welcome to the craziness of the Buchanans April!!  I am excited to get to spend Thanksgiving with them.

Day 4

Today I am grateful for Sundays at 6. I might grumble about the time occasionally, but when it comes down to it, there is nothing like my 3 ring circus making it home safe and getting to spend time with them.

Thankful

It's November, the month of Thanksgiving, I am going to post on here things I am thankful for.  To catch my blog up, here are the things from the last few days I posted on Facebook.

Day 3     Today I am grateful for the last year of my life. A year ago last night my life changed dramatically and surprisingly with all I've been through I can still say its for the better. I've met so many wonderful new people and grown closer to many of those I already knew. Love each day to the fullest, enjoy the now, and look to the future with hope!

Day 2     Today I'm thankful for my voice. After sounding like a 14 year old boy with a cracking voice mixed with Hannah Montana all week it's nice to have it back! I'm also thankful for air conditioning. One really appreciates things more when they break and you don't have them.

Day 1     Today I am thankful for a B on my muscle test considering the class average was F. If only I could spell muscle names I would have had an A. But still I'm thankful!